Lips of an Angel
by Demure Lunatic
Summary: All human. One shot. Edward and Bella are not together anymore, but have they truly moved on? What will one late night phone call lead to? Read and Review. Continuing after the one shot.
1. Chapter 1

**_I was inspired to write this by a song, hence the title. I do not own the song nor the characters, they are owned by Hinder and Stephenie Meyer. I hope you guys enjoy this one shot and don't forget to review!_**

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_**Lips of an Angel- EPOV  
**_

Oh god. I missed Bella like crazy. _Her gorgeous chocolate brown eyes that had this intense hold on me, her luscious brown wavy hair to match that I loved to get my hands tangled in, her rosy cheeks that I loved to make blush, her soft pink lips that called to me… _Stop! Get a grip Edward Cullen! Shit. I was getting hard just thinking about her. But I had Tanya now, I needed to stop dreaming of Bella. We weren't together anymore and we weren't ever going to be together again. Why? Because I had to make the biggest mistake of my entire life by breaking up with her. Why did I ever break up with her? Oh yeah. I'm a dumbass. I thought that it was best to end our relationship after high school, because we were going to be far away from each other during college.

_There was one month left until summer ended and we would all be headed to the college of our choice, but Bella and I hadn't discussed our future. I avoided the subject at all costs, I wanted to have an amazing summer with her before we were over. She had already told me that she was dead set on going to the University of Alaska. Alice decided to have a sleepover of the couples at our house, so Jasper, Rosalie, and Bella came over. We were all in the living room with our blankets watching the Notebook, the girls' choice of course. It was at the part where Allie had gone to where Noah worked to say goodbye, because her parents were making them move away so she wouldn't be able to be with Noah. "Edward, can we talk?" Bella whispered to me. I nodded and took her hand, leading her up the stairs to my room. When we got inside my room, I shut the door quietly and we both sat down next to each other on my bed. "So…there's one month left and summer is over…"_

_"Yep," I agreed. I didn't like where this conversation was going, but I knew we had to have it sooner or later, but I was rather hoping for much later._

_"Edward," Bella sighed, "I'm going to Alaska."_

_"I got accepted to Dartmouth, Bella, in New Hampshire." I couldn't look at her face so I just stared at the cream colored carpet._

_"Oh…How long have you known?" I could tell by the sound of her shaky voice that she had already begun to cry. Shit. I'm making her cry, I'm hurting her._

_"Since late May." It's almost freaking August now._

_"What are we going to do?" She was going to leave it up to me?! I had to let her go, long distance just doesn't work out. It would hurt her more in the long run, I would just be leading her on. It wouldn't be right. Bella deserved someone that could be there for her and not someone on the opposite side of the fucking continent. I couldn't be there for her, so I should just let her down now so she could move on. This is what's best for her._

_"Bella…I don't think long distance will work out. We would barely see each other. It isn't fair to either of us so I think…I think we should break up. I'm sorry. You'll always have a place in my heart, but I think this is best. I mean what if we find someone else? It's better to break up now, it would hurt much much more if we just let this go on longer."_

_"So you're just going to give up…not even try to make us work?! Am I not worth it to you? I thought that you loved me, but if you really did, you would wait. I know that I could wait a few years for you, but I guess you can't. So I was just a fling to you? Fine! Go off to fucking New Hampshire and find some other girls to screw around with!" With that she ran out the room and I heard the front door open and slam closed. She was so angry and hurt. But she was so wrong. She meant everything to me and I was just doing what was best for her. She wasn't the only one hurting, I was, too._

_For the rest of the summer, my family barely talked to me. Alice and Emmett were furious at me for breaking up with Bella. They were my brother and sister! Not hers! Alice refused to talk to me. Oh well, I'm going off to college anyways. Alice and Emmett were going with Bella to Alaska. I was the only one that was going to Dartmouth, it had been my dream ever since I was a boy to go to Dartmouth and become a doctor just like my father._

Tanya came out of the bathroom attached to our bedroom in some slutty lingerie. I had flashes of Bella in lingerie, she looked anything but slutty, she looked so unbelievably sexy. But Tanya in lingerie did nothing to my body. She crawled onto the bed and straddled my waist and leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Fuck me, Edward." Tanya is freaking addicted to sex. That was all we pretty much did together, purely physical. Our relationship didn't run any deeper than that. I liked her, I mean she is attractive, even though I have a penchant for brunettes instead of blondes. But I don't picture spending the rest of my life with her or anything serious, we just have fun. She is a nice girl even though my family hates her. I have no idea why.

Tanya began to kiss me roughly and I returned the kisses. I didn't enjoy them as much as I should have. I knew a bunch of guys that would kill to be in my position. In my mind though, I was comparing them to Bella's sweet kisses. I quickly got her out of the lingerie and allowed her to take off my pajama pants and boxers. She straddled my hips and inserted my dick inside of her and rode me. She quickened the pace and leaned over to place wet kisses all over me. She moaned my name but all I could think about was Bella. She kept it up until we both cummed. It took her a heck of a whole lot to get me there though and she fell asleep right after. I got up to take a shower. I felt dirty and disgusting everytime we had sex, but the shower only helped me a little bit.

I couldn't fall asleep yet after my shower so I went into my study which was right next to the bedroom. I pulled out Wuthering Heights from the shelf, it was one of Bella's favorites, though I didn't see why she liked it so much to read it over and over. I sat on my black leather sofa and began to read. Ten minutes into the novel, my cell phone rang. Strange, I guess I must have left it in here. I picked it up and looked to see who was calling so late. Bella. I always kept her in my contact list, but I didn't think that she would keep the same number. Without thinking, I flipped the phone open and answered it, "Bella?"

"Edward!" Bella replied, but she sounded sort of sad. I couldn't believe that she would call me, it was really her. My heart fluttered when she said my name.

"Is it really you? Why are you calling me? And so late?" I asked quietly. I couldn't be too loud or Tanya would wake up. She was right next door.

"Why are you whispering," she asked, evading my questions.

"I'm sorry, I can't be too loud, my girlfriend is in the next room sleeping."

"Oh…sorry. I don't know why I'm calling it was sort of a spur of the moment thing. I'm sorry, were you asleep? Did I wake you?"

"No, it's okay. I have trouble sleeping, so you didn't wake me up or anything."

"Oh okay. Well…Jacob is in the other room, also asleep."

"Jacob?" Who the hell is this Jacob guy?!

"Yeah, he's sort of my boyfriend. Remember Jacob Black?" I couldn't help the anger and jealousy that overcame me. What the fuck.

"Oh yeah. Real tall, tan, dark hair… Does he know you are talking to me?" A part of me wished that he did know. That Bella was talking to her ex-boyfriend. A part of me wanted him to fight me, so I could beat the hell out of him for being with Bella. She deserved so much and he wasn't enough. Not even close.

"Nope, does your girlfriend?" It sounded like she was crying almost.

"No, she doesn't have a clue, she's asleep. Are you crying?"

"No. So what have you been up to? Are you a doctor now?"

"Nothing much and yes I am a doctor." I have been for more than a year now at a hospital in Seattle. I moved back to Washington to be closer to my parents but I didn't want to live in Forks and work in the same hospital as my father. I liked the big city more.

"Carlisle must be so proud of you. Congratulations." My whole family flew out to see me graduate and Carlisle was especially ecstatic that I was becoming a doctor just like him.

"Thanks and yes he is proud that I followed in his footsteps. What is up with you?"

"Well, I work for a newspaper now and I still live in Forks." She was always a writer and a bookworm.

"That's great. I live in Seattle now." I can't believe that we lived so close. I felt like driving over to Forks. I haven't seen her in so long. I wondered what she looked like now or if she still looked the same. Either way, she'd be beautiful. We were silent for a couple of minutes.

"I miss you so much," she whispered. When she said that, I swear that I could feel my heart shatter and swell at the same time.

"I miss you, too, so much," I replied honestly. I constantly thought about her. What she was doing? Did she think about me? I dreamt about her everynight that she would still be in my arms and that I could still kiss her lips. She is such an angel.

"I dream about you. All the time," she said. She still thought and dreamt about me! I remember when we fell asleep together. I would wait until she fell asleep before I did. She was fascinating when she slept, she would talk. She said my name numerous amounts of time and that she loved me.

"That's funny, I dream about you everynight."

"Yeah? I guess we never really got over each other, did we?"

"No, I guess not. In my dreams we are still together."

"I'm not mad at you anymore, you know… for breaking up with me. I understand where you were coming from, but there is still a part of me that wonders what if we gave a shot at a long distance relationship. What if we would still be together now if we pulled through that."

"I regret breaking up with you, it was the biggest mistake of my life. My whole family hated me for it, hell, I hate myself for it. I should have been honest with you. I never got to apologize for not talking it out with you. I'm so sorry. I don't know what would have been, but it's a little late for that now, huh?"

"Yeah… I forgive you. I know we can't turn back time."

"Thanks. Speaking of time, shouldn't we both be getting some sleep?" I didn't really want to stop talking to her, but I didn't want to deprive her of human necessities.

"Oh yeah, we should."

"Okay, good night then."

"Wait! Are you still there?" she asked, before I nearly ended the call.

"Yep."

"Maybe we should grab a bite to eat some time, you know, catch up? I'd really like to see you. We could be friends…" God, how much I wanted to see her. But I shouldn't. I would just fuck up everything, because I know that as soon as I see her I would want to be more than friends. It wouldn't be fair to Tanya… or Jacob.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Bella." The monster in me was screaming to say 'Let's go out to dinner!'

"Why not? You don't want to see me, do you?" she asked, sounding hurt. I wanted to see her so badly.

"No, it's not that. I'd love to see you, but I don't think that I could be just friends with you. I would always want more and that's not fair for all of us. I'm sorry."

"You're right. I'm sorry for bringing it up. I'm stupid." She still doesn't see herself clearly. Sigh.

"No, you aren't. You are intelligent, beautiful, and kind. Never think otherwise." Why does she never believe me?!

"Thanks, you're always so sweet. Good night or shall I say good morning, Edward."

"Okay, good morning, Bella." I quietly went back to the bedroom, Tanya was lightly snoring. I got in bed and thought about my conversation with Bella. It sounded so good to hear her voice again. The voice of my angel. When I finally fell asleep, I had a dream about holding her in my arms and kissing her again. How I long to be able to do just that.

_Honey why are you calling me so late?  
__It's kinda hard to talk right now__  
Honey why are you crying, is everything okay?  
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud_

_Well, my girl's in the next room  
Sometimes I wish she was you  
I guess we never really moved on_

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my nameIt sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
And yes I've dreamt of you too  
And does he know you're talking to me?  
Will it start a fight?  
No I don't think she has a clue_

_Well my girl's in the next room  
Sometimes I wish she was you  
I guess we never really moved on_

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel  
Honey why are you calling me so late?_

_

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**Please review! I'm wondering if I should just continue this story or just leave it at that.**  
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	2. Chapter 2

_**Thinking of You by Katy Perry. This is BPOV. Enjoy! Read and Review!  
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_**Thinking of You**_

Here I am, still living in Forks. I moved back to Forks after I graduated at the University of Alaska with an english major. Surprising. I've always wanted to be a writer and I love to read books. I love the classics—Wuthering Heights by Jane Austen particularly. Ever since I moved back, I've been reminiscing about Edward, my first and only true love. Not that I forgot him in Alaska, I just have more flashbacks now. One little thing will remind me of Edward. Whenever the wind blew I would think about his hair swaying to the breeze. On those rare sunny days I would picture how his eyes sparkled and his skin glisten from the sun's rays. Whenever I passed by Forks High School I recalled the day we first met in biology class. Whenever I go to our meadow just to get away I remember the day he took me there and we confessed our love for each other. Whenever I passed by someone with green eyes I would remember how I couldn't break away from his deep gaze. These little reminders made me both sad and happy all at the same time. On the bright side, Alice and Emmett and the rest of our gang went back to Forks as well. But there is one person missing. Edward. He is a major part of me, my other half. We didn't bring him up though, we pretended that he didn't exist, but in my mind he was everywhere and everything. I have no idea where he iss and what he is doing… Is he a doctor now? Does he have a girlfriend? Did he really move on? Or did he think about me as much as I thought about him?

But this is all wrong. I shouldn't be thinking of him. He should be a distant memory and not at the forefront of my mind. This isn't fair to Jacob at all. I think he knows it, too. I wouldn't always be present even though I was physically. I spaced out a lot, constantly caught up in my day dreams of everything Edward. Jacob is my boyfriend now and not Edward, but my heart doesn't want to believe it. My heart is in denial. It won't let me get over Edward and accept Jacob. I am so screwed up. Jacob loves me so much and I can't reciprocate those feelings. I told him that I love him back, but those words have no meaning to me. They aren't the same. I am a liar and a fraud.

Ever since Edward broke up with me that one summer, I haven't been the same Bella. I am dead inside, a zombie. All that is left of me is just a shell of what I once was. There is a huge hole in my heart that Edward ripped out. Jake tried to patch it up, but it's still there growing and growing until the hole is opened up again. I still remember the night he broke up with me perfectly and I have nightmares about it sometimes, too.

_There was one month left until summer ended and we would all be headed to the college of our choice, but Edward and I hadn't discussed our future. I had tried to bring it up with him on numerous occasions but he would always change the subject. I already knew that I would be attending the University of Alaska in the fall. Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie were coming to Alaska, too. We had talked about sharing a house together and stuff. But Edward didn't tell me about the colleges that he applied or got accepted to. I knew he didn't want to talk about it, but we had to have the discussion eventually. Alice decided to have a sleepover of the couples at her and Edward's house, so Jasper, Rosalie, and I came over. We were all in the living room with our blankets watching the Notebook, the girls' choice of course. It was at the part where Allie had gone to where Noah worked to say goodbye, because her parents were making them move away so she wouldn't be able to be with Noah. "Edward, can we talk?" I whispered to Edward. We were going to have the talk no matter what. He avoided it like the plague for long enough. Summer was almost over and I would have to leave. He nodded and took my hand, leading me up the stairs to his bedroom. When we got inside his room, he shut the door quietly and we both sat down next to each other on his bed. The same bed we made love on several times. I knew that I had to start the conversation so I began, "So…there's one month left and summer is over…"_

_"Yep," he agreed. He knew what I wanted to talk about it and he wasn't making it easy for me. I guess I shouldn't just beat around the bush._

_"Edward," I sighed, "I'm going to Alaska." I knew that he already knew that I was dead set on going there, plus our friends probably told him, too._

_"I got accepted to Dartmouth, Bella, in New Hampshire." Wow. Dartmouth. Edward was so intelligent and I knew his goal was to become a doctor like his father and going to Dartmouth could definitely help him achieve that. But New Hampshire was so far from Alaska._

_"Oh…How long have you known?" Why didn't he tell me this sooner? I would have been happy for him. But now I am just sad. I know it is selfish of me to want him to go to Alaska with me when Dartmouth is the better choice, but I couldn't help it._

_"Since late May." It's almost freaking August now. I wish he had been honest with me from the start. I didn't even know he applied to Dartmouth! A felt a few tears fall down my cheeks. Maybe I would have applied there as well, though the probability of actually getting accepted was slim. But hey, anything to be with Edward._

_"What are we going to do?" I needed to know what he thought about our predicament. Is he willing to wait for us. I'm pretty sure I could wait for him. But what if he didn't feel I was worth the wait? I'm just an ordinary girl after all and he is practically perfection. He was gorgeous, intelligent, athletic, and caring. I wanted to try long distance, if it was true love the miles apart we were couldn't tear us apart. We could e-mail, talk on the phone, use web cams, and see each other during the breaks. He was the one for me and I knew I couldn't find anybody better, so I could wait until after college to be together again. But what did he want?_

_"Bella…I don't think long distance will work out. We would barely see each other. It isn't fair to either of us so I think…I think we should break up. I'm sorry. You'll always have a place in my heart, but I think this is best. I mean what if we find someone else? It's better to break up now, it would hurt much much more if we just let this go on longer." My world was crashing down on me and my heart shattered into a million pieces. He didn't even want to give this a chance! I was furious with him. I knew that it wasn't right, but I just had to lash out at him._

_"So you're just going to give up…not even try to make us work?! Am I not worth it to you? I thought that you loved me, but if you really did, you would wait. I know that I could wait a few years for you, but I guess you can't. So I was just a fling to you? Fine! Go off to fucking New Hampshire and find some other girls to screw around with!" I felt worthless and broken. He was everything to me and I obviously meant nothing to him. Fuck him! I don't care if I'm just over reacting. I don't care anymore. I rushed down the stairs, not giving him a chance to respond to my outburst. I left the house without saying goodbye to anyone. As soon as I got into my truck, I let the tears fall furiously. I no longer felt angry at him, I just felt pain and sadness._

_For the rest of the summer, I avoided Edward. I didn't go to the Cullen household at all. I just stayed in my room and let the tears rain down. For a week, I didn't talk to anybody at all. I only left my room to eat or use the bathroom. I looked terrible. I lost a lot of weight and my eyes were bloodshot from all the crying. I was miserable and utterly depressed. How could I move on? How could I live without Edward in my life? I never thought I would have to. My worst nightmare come true. I was nothing without him._

_Eventually, I let Alice, Emmett, and the gang see me. They tried to cheer me up, but it only worked temporarily if at all. I couldn't get Edward out of my mind. I couldn't stop analyzing everthing. Did I do or say something wrong? Did his feelings for me change or just disappear? Why didn't he want to try? I was pathetic._

_But then I started to go out with Jacob and I started to feel better. I felt something. He helped me forget for awhile. But the hole was still there. _

The hole is still there, but I don't know what I would have done without Jacob. He is like my sun, I needed him, without him I would just wallow in the darkness. I loved him, just not in love with him like he was with me. He came out of the bathroom which was attached to our bedroom in his pajamas. We lived together in a small house. We didn't have much money but we got by. He laid down beside me on the bed, "I love you, Bella," he said and then leaned in to kiss me. He pulled away to looked me in the eyes. I knew what he wanted.

"I love you, too, Jake." Then he leaned into me again and kissed me hungrily. When it comes to sex, Jacob is rough. He isn't sweet and tender like Edward was to me. Jacob placed hot wet kisses over my neck and chest while taking off my clothes. He took off his clothes next. Jake is so muscular, almost as much as Emmett. Jake positioned himself and inserted his length into me. He thrusted hard into me and grunted. I closed my eyes and imagined that Jacob was somebody else. Edward. I imagined Edward caressing me and making sure that I was okay while he made love to me. Not Jacob fucking me for his own pleasure. Jacob moaned, "God, Bella, your so tight," bringing me back from my fantasies. Jacob was almost there and after a few more thrusts he cummed and pulled out. I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower and relieve myself by using my imagination. When I finished I got back into bed next to an already snoring Jacob. Thirty minutes later and I still couldn't fall asleep. Sigh.

I got up and went into the room I used to hold all my books and CDs, it was right next to our bedroom. I pulled out my copy of Wuthering Heights that I loved so much. I've read it over a dozen times from cover to cover. Edward would be astounded to know that I still read it. Edward. I wanted to hear his velvety voice so badly. Then an idea popped into my head, I still had his number. It would probably be off and I would just hear his voicemail. I got my phone and pressed the send button when I found him on my contact list. It rang three times and then I heard that voice, "Bella?" Shit. No one was supposed to answer. Well talking to him wouldn't hurt, would it?

"Edward!" I replied. I hope he didn't detect the bit of sadness in my voice when I said his name.

"Is it really you? Why are you calling me? And so late?" he asked quietly. _Yes. I wanted to hear your freaking beautiful voice. I couldn't sleep, because all I could think about is you. I freaking orgasm thinking about you. _I couldn't tell him the truth.

"Why are you whispering," I asked, evading his questions by asking my own.

"I'm sorry, I can't be too loud, my girlfriend is in the next room sleeping." Fuck. He moved on. I couldn't help but feel hurt, even though I had Jacob.

"Oh…sorry. I don't know why I'm calling it was sort of a spur of the moment thing. I'm sorry, were you asleep? Did I wake you?"

"No, it's okay. I have trouble sleeping, so you didn't wake me up or anything."

"Oh okay. Well…Jacob is in the other room, also asleep."

"Jacob?" Did he sound sad, too? Must be just me. I'm delusional.

"Yeah, he's sort of my boyfriend. Remember Jacob Black?" I introduced Jacob to Edward when Edward and I were still going out. Those were the days…

"Oh yeah. Real tall, tan, dark hair… Does he know you are talking to me?" _No, but if he did, he would probably get mad at me and call me a masochist._

"Nope, does your girlfriend?" I could feel the tears build up in my eyes just thinking that he had a girlfriend. She was probably much prettier than me. He deserved so much, he's perfect.

"No, she doesn't have a clue, she's asleep. Are you crying?" Oh god, I'm so pathetic.

"No. So what have you been up to? Are you a doctor now?"

"Nothing much and yes I am a doctor." He was a low key genius. Straight A student.

"Carlisle must be so proud of you. Congratulations."

"Thanks and yes he is proud that I followed in his footsteps. What is up with you?"

"Well, I work for a newspaper now and I still live in Forks." I'm so lame.

"That's great. I live in Seattle now." I can't believe that we lived so close. I haven't seen him in so long. I wondered what he looked like now or if he still looked the same. Either way, he'd be gorgeous. Perfection. We were silent for a couple of minutes.

"I miss you so much," I whispered. Damn, I slipped up. I could feel a tear trickle down.

"I miss you, too, so much," he replied.

"I dream about you. All the time." I couldn't help myself, could I? I dreamt about him every freaking night.

"That's funny, I dream about you everynight." What? Are my ears functioning correctly?

"Yeah? I guess we never really got over each other, did we?"

"No, I guess not. In my dream we are still together." Oh my god. Does he know what he is doing to me right now? My heart was screaming with joy, but my mind was scared, still remembering that he broke my heart.

"I'm not mad at you anymore, you know… for breaking up with me. I understand where you were coming from, but there is still a part of me that wonders what if we gave a shot at a long distance relationship. What if we would still be together now if we pulled through that." And the word vomit continues.

"I regret breaking up with you, it was the biggest mistake of my life. My whole family hated me for it, hell, I hate myself for it. I should have been honest with you. I never got to apologize for not talking it out with you. I'm so sorry. I don't know what would have been, but it's a little late for that now, huh?"

"Yeah… I forgive you. I know we can't turn back time." If we were able to, I would have done it already.

"Thanks. Speaking of time, shouldn't we both be getting some sleep?" I totally forgot how late it was. It was like he and I were in our own little world. The perfect world.

"Oh yeah, we should." I didn't want to stop talking to him though.

"Okay, good night then."

"Wait! Are you still there?"

"Yep."

"Maybe we should grab a bite to eat some time, you know, catch up? I'd really like to see you. We could be friends…" Did I just say that? What am I thinking? Oh wait, I'm not, not at all. Please say yes, anyways. I really wanted to see him.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Bella." Rejected. Again.

"Why not? You don't want to see me, do you?" Why would he when he probably has a fucking super model of a girlfriend?

"No, it's not that. I'd love to see you, but I don't think that I could be just friends with you. I would always want more and that's not fair for all of us. I'm sorry." He still wanted me, but why does he always have to be right?!

"You're right. I'm sorry for bringing it up. I'm stupid."

"No, you aren't. You are intelligent, beautiful, and kind. Never think otherwise." He's always so sweet, just one of the reasons why I love him so much.

"Thanks, you're always so sweet. Good night or shall I say good morning, Edward."

"Okay, good morning, Bella." I quietly went back to the bedroom. I fell asleep dreaming about Edward and his beautiful green eyes.

_Comparisons are easily done_

_Once you've had a taste of perfection_

_Like an apple hanging from a tree_

_I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed_

_You said move on, where do I go?_

_I guess second best is all I will know_

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you_

_(Thinking of you, thinking of you)_

_Thinking of you, what you would do_

_If you were the one who was spending the night_

_(Spending the night, spending the night)_

_Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes_

_You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter_

_Like a hard candy with a surprise center_

_How do I get better once I've had the best?_

_You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test_

_He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!_

_(Taste your mouth)_

_He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself_

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you_

_(Thinking of you, thinking of you)_

_Thinking of you, what you would do_

_If you were the one who was spending the night_

_(Spending the night, spending the night)_

_Oh, I wish that I was looking into_

_You're the best, and yes, I do regret_

_How I could let myself let you go_

_Now, now the lesson's learned_

_I touched it, I was burned_

_Oh, I think you should know!_

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you_

_(Thinking of you, thinking of you)_

_Thinking of you, what you would do_

_If you were the one who was spending the night_

_(Spending the night, spending the night)_

_Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes_

_Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes_

_Oh, won't you walk through?_

_And bust in the door and take me away?_

_Oh, no more mistakes_

_'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay_


	3. Chapter 3

**_You're Beautiful by James Blunt. EPOV. Review, review, and review if you want faster updates!_**

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It's been a week since Bella called. I prayed that she would call me again so that we could talk again, but she hasn't. I can't get her off my mind and I keep replaying our short conversation in my head. Should I have agreed to meet with her? _Yes! No! _I honestly don't know. Gah! I'm so confused. "Babe, I'm going to the mall today, want to come with?" Tanya asked me. Well… I don't have anything to do today and I could stop by at the bookstore…

"Sure," I replied and she smiled. We soon arrived at the mall. The mall is packed—it's Saturday and people were getting a head start on holiday shopping. I went with Tanya from store to store, carrying all the bags. She is just as bad as Alice. You'd think that they would get along, but they don't. In fact, my whole family isn't very fond of Tanya, but I don't see why. Tanya is a nice girl. Tanya went inside Victoria's Secret, but I refrained from going inside, so I sat down on a bench outside the store. Sigh.

That's when I saw her. The most intoxicatingly beautiful woman ever. She had long, silky dark brown locks. Fair skin, but with rosy cheeks. She was average height and petite. She had chocolate brown eyes that I could stare into for hours. She was perfection. But she had one flaw. Walking beside her was a tall and muscular man with tan skin. And they were holding hands! He didn't deserve her.

But we locked eyes for a moment. For a moment it was just the two of us and no one else. It felt like I could see directly into her soul and I was baring mine own soul to her. I felt vulnerable, but I liked it. There were no barriers between us. It was the perfect world, utopia. Then she smiled at me; the most brilliant smile I had ever seen. I returned a smile. She reminded me so much of... Bella. Bella! All of a sudden, reality came crashing down on me. My mind was reeling. _I just saw Bella! Bella just saw me! Oh my god. What should I do?! Should I walk over to her and talk to her? No, Jacob is there with her. Did she recognize me?_ I looked around and I didn't see her. She is gone. I lost my chance. I'm such an idiot! I might never see her again and I ruined it.

If I thought she was beautiful before, I don't know what words I could use to describe her now. Breath-taking, literally. Stunning? Yes, I'm stunned by her. _Exquisite. Alluring. Ravishing. Radiant._ All those words could be used to describe Bella, but they wouldn't be enough. Bella. Perfect.

I messed up. If I hadn't have made that horrid mistake all those years ago we would be together. I just know it. We would be married or at least engaged. Maybe planning to have children. They would be amazing, half me and half Bella. We would live together in our own beautiful house that we bought together. We would have dinner together. Go out with friends and have fun. Have movie nights and cuddle up together. I would watch her fall asleep and then we would dream together. We should be together, but we aren't. It's all my fault, I'll never forgive myself. I will never be with Bella ever again. I don't deserve her love any more than Jacob does.

"Hey, I'm just going to head over to one more store, did you still want to head over to the bookstore?" Tanya asked, walking up to me and bringing me out of my thoughts. She had two more bags in her hands. Great. Sigh.

"Yeah, sure. Meet back here in half an hour?" I replied. She nodded and went our separate ways. I walked the short distance to the bookstore and glanced around for Bella, but I didn't see her. Sigh. I perused the shelves and grabbed a couple of books to add to my collection at home. I used up all my spare time either reading, listening to music, or both. I paid for the books and walked out of the store. I still had time left so I walked over to the music store just next door to the bookstore. I bought _Only By the Night_ by Kings of Leon, Thriving Ivory's self-titled album, _A Twist in My Story_ by Secondhand Serenade, _Viva la Vida_ by Coldplay, and the Across the Universe soundtrack. Then I walked back to the bench to wait for Tanya.

I replayed what had happened earlier. I saw Bella, my angel. Of that I'm sure.

_My life is brilliant._

_My life is brilliant.  
My love is pure.  
I saw an angel.  
Of that I'm sure.  
She smiled at me on the subway.  
She was with another man.  
But I won't lose no sleep on that,  
'Cause I've got a plan._

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful.  
You're beautiful, it's true.  
I saw your face in a crowded place,  
And I don't know what to do,  
'Cause I'll never be with you._

_Yeah, she caught my eye,  
As we walked on by.  
She could see from my face that I was,  
Flying high,  
And I don't think that I'll see her again,  
But we shared a moment that will last till the end._

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful.  
You're beautiful, it's true.  
I saw your face in a crowded place,  
And I don't know what to do,  
'Cause I'll never be with you._

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful.  
You're beautiful, it's true.  
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,  
When she thought up that I should be with you.  
But it's time to face the truth,  
I will never be with you._

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**I know it's short, but bear with me, I've got big plans. So review!**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Everywhere by Michelle Branch. Sorry for not updating sooner. More reviews help me update faster, though! Getting my iPod back would help a lot, too.**** BPOV**_

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I had the most amazing dream. Edward and I were in the most beautiful meadow I've ever seen with soft, long green grass and wild flowers of various colors coming up from the ground. Forest trees surrounded the secluded meadow; we were in our own little bubble, talking, laughing, dancing, and having fun.

"_I've missed you, I've missed us so much," Edward confessed._

"_Me, too, Edward," I replied and kissed him tenderly._

"_We're together now and that's all that matters," he whispered against my lips._

But alas, that is only in dream world. In reality, Jake is right next to me snoring his heart out. I got up and walked into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and I looked exactly the way I looked in high school, same long brown hair, brown eyes, and skinny. I don't think I even grew an inch. Why, I'm Bella Swan. Bella Black? I'm not sure. I found an engagement ring while putting away laundry a couple of weeks ago, but he has yet to propose. Would I say yes? I honestly don't know what to do or think. We have been together for a while now, but I really only felt connected to him as a close friend and nothing more, but he had other ideas and I just went with them. I'm a bitch for leading him on like this and he knows that, but somehow he still hopes that one day I'll just feel for him the way he feels for me. In truth, he deserves so much more; he is such a great guy, just not the guy for me, so cliché. _It's not you, it's me. _Sounds like bullshit and most of the time it is, but not with me and Jake. I should say no to him. I should just let him go and find the person he is really meant to be with, his soul mate. At least one of us should get to be with their soul mate. _Bella Cullen? I wish._

_Okay, stop dilly-dallying._ I quickly brushed my teeth and hair and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. I scrambled up some eggs, and made bacon and pancakes. After I set the table, I went back into the bedroom to wake up Jacob. "Jake, wake up," I said, shaking his shoulder lightly.

"Mhm, just give me five more minutes, Bells."Last time I gave him five more minutes, it ended up being half an hour and he was late for work.

"No, wake up now," I said firmly.

"Alright!" He got out of bed and muttered, "Party pooper." I just chuckled. He went into the bathroom and I went back to the dining table to eat. He joined me just a few minutes later.

"Do you have plans for today, Bells?"

"Nope, maybe just tidy up the house and read a book…."

"Do you want to go to the mall later, I could use some new shoes?"

"Sure, I guess." After we were both done eating, I gathered all the dishes and washed them. Then I did as I said I would, I made our bed, dusted the house, and tidied up. I hit up the bookshelves and picked out a book and read. An hour later of reading, I heard my cell phone ring, but couldn't find it anywhere. "Jake, have you seen my phone?" I yelled.

"It's right here on the kitchen counter," he yelled back. I ran to the kitchen and checked who was calling me. Alice. I quickly flipped my phone open to answer.

"Yes, Alice?" I said, breathing heavily from running in the house.

"Well, hello to you, too, Bella," she replied sarcastically. _Ha. Ha. _

"Sorry, hello. What did you need?"

"Don't you like to get down to business?" _She thinks she is so funny._

"How've you been," I muttered.

"That's better. I've been great. Jasper and I are doing wonderful, thank you. How about you?"

"I'm fine."

"Fine, as in not good. No good sex lately, huh?"

"What does sex have to do with anything?" _Silly girl, you got to love her though._

"That's why I'm always in a good mood, Bella. Jasper is a fantastic lover."

"Ew. That's gross, Alice. I don't need to know about your love life."

"Whatever, Bella. What's Jake's problem? Size?" I walked outside to the neighborhood park so Jacob wouldn't overhear our conversation.

"No! Jake isn't the problem, it's me." _Sigh._

"What's wrong?"

"All I can think about is Edward. He is in my dreams, he is everywhere."

"So what's new? We all know that you've never got over him. He's not over you either."

"I know."

"What do you mean you know? How do you know?" _Confession time. Yay me._

"I called him up late last night when I couldn't sleep…" I mumbled.

"What?!" she screamed.

"Ouch, Alice."

"Sorry, sorry. Explain, please."

"I honestly didn't think he would pick up. I just wanted to hear his voice from his voice mail. I thought he would be asleep and have his phone turned off, but he wasn't. He was awake and he answered his phone. I don't know what I was thinking but we ended up talking a little bit. We confessed that we miss each other, dream about each other, and never got over one another. But I said the most stupid thing, Alice! I asked if we could meet and catch up sometime! I'm an idiot; we are both in a relationship, just not with each other."

"So sweet! And you are not an idiot!"

"Thanks, Alice."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Did he agree that you two should meet up?!"

"No," I sighed.

"Why the hell not?"

"He didn't think it a good idea, because he could never be just friends with me, he would always want more."

"What's wrong with wanting more?"

"Didn't I tell you that we are both in a relationship? He has a girlfriend and I have Jacob!"

"Well those two relationships could easily end and a new one can start. Voila! I am a genius."

"No, you are not, sorry. I can't _easily end_ my relationship with Jacob. He is important to me. You know that, Alice."

"You do what you got to do, Bella. You and Edward are meant to be."

"I wish things were just that simple, but they aren't. Life has to be so damn complicated, for what reason I don't know."

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"It's okay; we can't all be like you and Jasper."

"I know, you wish. Haha."

"Anyways, why'd you call in the first place?"

"It can't be for no reason, like I just want to talk to my best friend?"

"Nope."

"Okay, you got me. I'm inviting you over for Christmas dinner."

"I can't, Jake and I planned to spend it with Charlie, Sue, and Billy. Sorry!"

"It's okay, but you better come to the New Year's Eve party then. That's an order!"

"Yes, ma'am! Is it alright if I bring Jacob?"

"Of course, silly! You got to kiss him at midnight!"

"Okay. It's at Carlisle's and Esme's right?"

"Yep. We've got to go shopping for dresses!"

"I'm already going to the mall with Jacob; I'll just go buy my dress today." _Please say yes. _I do not want to have to go shopping with Alice. She goes berserk.

"Alright, I'm letting you off the hook this time, but you got to send me a picture of the dress, shoes, and accessories so that I can approve of it. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, mom," I replied, teasing.

"Good, now I've got to go. I want that picture!"

"Bye, Alice!" _Sigh, now I have to go tell Jake. _I walked back to the house and got inside where Jacob was watching some sports game.

"Have fun talking to Alice?"

"Oh yeah, it was a blast," I muttered and he chuckled.

"What did she want?" _We know Alice so well._

"She's invited us to their New Year's Eve party and I said we would go."

"Okay. Will Edward be there?"

"I don't know, Jake, I didn't ask!"

"Sorry, Bells! You know I'm just looking out for you. He hurt you, remember?"

"I know, but why do you always have to remind me?!"

"Sorry…"

"Stop saying you're sorry, Jake," I sighed. _I'm getting so tired of this._

"Am I forgiven?"

"Yes, already. Are we leaving for the mall soon?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, I'm just going to wait for this game to finish and then I need to take a shower and then we can go."

"Alright, well I still need to shower, so I'll go now while you're watching the game."

"Sure," he replied. I went into our bathroom and took a shower. After I took a shower, I dressed in jeans, a v-neck green shirt, and slipped on gray ballet flats. I went back into the living room when the game had just finished. "Alright, let me just take a quick shower," he said and kissed my cheek. I nodded. I grabbed my purse and cell phone and sat on the couch while he left to go shower. Not even ten minutes later, we were out the door headed for the mall in my Audi.

We got to the mall soon and Jake and I decided to split up and meet up at the bookstore later. I went to a bunch of stores to find a dress that Alice would approve of. I did take me a bit, but I found the one. It was a cute and short navy blue dress. It was simple and flowed out after the bust line. I just needed to find the right accessories and shoes. I figured that I should go for the shoes first. I found the shoes right away—they were high-heeled, black, and strappy. Perfect. Dress. Check. Shoes. Check. Accessories? I picked out a long pearl necklace with matching pearl earrings and bracelet. All set. I called Jake and headed to the bookstore which he was already at waiting. "How long have you been waiting for my call?"

"Ten minutes, maybe? Find something Alice would approve of?"

"Yeah, let me just get a few books and we could go out to eat?"

"Sure, sure." I perused the bookstore and decided on a saga about a teenage girl and vampires. It sounded like an interesting story and I heard they were making it into a movie. Then Jake and I walked out of the bookstore and headed out. He grabbed my hand while we were walking.

And that's when I see him. Edward is sitting on a bench in front of Victoria's Secret. He is looking gorgeous, as usual. He looks a bit more mature and muscular than when were in high school. He looks even more amazing, just like I thought he would. He literally took my breath away. Then he looked my way and for a moment it felt like time stood still. I just wanted to freeze it so I could stay in his eyes forever. I might be imagining this, though, he might not have even noticed me. Did he see me?

I felt Jacob pull on me to walk faster and I snapped out of it. Did Jake see Edward? I figure it best not to mention it.

_Turn it inside out so I can see_

_The part of you that's drifting over me_

_And when I wake you're, you're never there_

_But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere_

_You're everywhere_

_Just tell me how I got this far_

_Just tell me why you're here and who you are_

_'Cause every time I look_

_You're never there_

_And every time I sleep_

_You're always there_

_'Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know_

_That makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_I'm not alone_

_I recognize the way you make me feel_

_It's hard to think that_

_You might not be real_

_I sense it now, the water's getting deep_

_I try to wash the pain away from me_

_Away from me_

_'Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know_

_That makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_I'm not alone_

_I am not alone_

_Whoa, oh, oh, oh_

_And when I touch your hand_

_It's then I understand_

_The beauty that's within_

_It's now that we begin_

_You always light my way_

_I hope there never comes a day_

_No matter where I go_

_I always feel you so_

_'Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know_

_That makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_'Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I catch my breath_

_It's you I breathe_

_You're everything I know_

_That makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_You're in everyone I see_

_So tell me_

_Do you see me?_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Come Home by OneRepublic. EPOV. Hoping for a total of 15 reviews. Please?!_**

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It is now Christmas and Tanya and I were going to my parents' house for our traditional Christmas dinner. I have not heard nor seen Bella since I saw her at the mall a few weeks ago on that fateful day. I've thought about calling her or sending her a text but I've never followed through. She is still at the forefront of my mind. Even when I went Christmas shopping, I saw things that I thought Bella would love. But I never purchased those items; instead I bought Tanya a set of pearl earrings, necklace, and bracelet. She was into jewelry and happily accepted my present to her. In turn she gave me a new watch and I thanked her.

"So who is going to be there?" Tanya asked when were almost arriving at the Cullen household.

"Umm… I believe it's just going to be my family as usual," I replied. I secretly hoped that Bella might be there so I could see her again, but that would probably turn out to be an awkward situation. If she showed up, Jacob would most likely be by her side. I wonder if Jacob knew about me and Bella. I guessed that he would.

I pulled into the driveway, got out and walked to the other side of the car to let Tanya out. My parents raised me to be the gentleman that I am today. We walked to the front door and were immediately greeted by my parents, "Merry Christmas!" we all greeted each other. I hugged Carlisle and Esme first and then Tanya hugged them, too. Everyone hugged Tanya only to be polite, I could tell by their faces that they didn't want to. That angered me, because they welcomed Bella easily but they give Tanya such a hard time. She doesn't deserve their resentment.

We sat around and caught up with each other while Esme went to the kitchen to finish up the dinner that smelled amazing already. Emmett and Rosalie announced that they are expecting a baby that they said was conceived during their honeymoon. I was excited to become an uncle and I've always wanted children of my own. Esme ran out of the kitchen to congratulate them as well; she was ecstatic. "Jasper and I have news of our own as well," Alice said and we all quieted down to listen. "We're getting married!" she exclaimed in Alice fashion while flaunting her ring. We congratulated her and Jasper for finally going to tie the knot.

"How did he propose?" Rosalie asked.

"Well… you all know that it is Alice's dream to open up her own boutique," Jasper started and he and Alice shared a knowing smile. "I found the perfect place to open up her own store and so I bought it; it was sort of a spur of a moment decision of mine. I've had the ring in my possession for a while now, I was just waiting for the right opportunity to propose and I thought that it was perfect. So I took her to the empty store where I set up a candle light dinner and after, I asked her to marry me. She obviously said yes, but was confused as to why I proposed to her in an empty store. I told her that I had bought it for her and well, here we are." All the girls "awwed" and had tears in their eyes after he finished telling the story.

"That's so romantic," Tanya commented. I prayed that she didn't think that we would get engaged soon. I honestly didn't see myself marrying her. I've only thought of marrying one person and that was Bella. But that dream flew out the window when I broke up with her.

We were all surprised to hear the door bell ring so I offered to get up and go see who it was. I opened the door and was stunned to see who was on the other side. Bella and who I presume was Jacob, her _boyfriend_. "Hello… I didn't know that we were expecting you for dinner," I stuttered out while Jacob glared at me. So that answered my earlier question, he did know who I was.

"Umm… sorry, I actually just came to drop off my presents before we go to my dad's," Bella replied, blushing. I still loved her beautiful blush and before I could stare at her any longer, my family came the door to see who our visitor was.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed. I looked at my family and they were surprised to see Bella and Jacob as well. So nobody was expecting her.

"Merry Christmas, everybody. I'm sorry to intrude, but I just wanted to drop off gifts since I couldn't join you for dinner." Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle to the gifts out of Bella's and Jacob's hands and hugged them and greeted them a merry Christmas. They hugged Jacob! _How could they welcome him so openly and not Tanya! _I was angry at my family, but I kept it all in; it's Christmas I reminded myself. Bella and Jacob came inside to watch my family open their gifts. It hurt a little that she gave everyone a present except for me, but I couldn't blame her. She smiled at me sadly at me, as my family opened their gifts. Alice received a bunch of fancy wooden hangers and a new sketchbook. Alice hugged her; Bella must have known about Jasper's proposal already. Jasper got an old book about the civil war and for Emmett and Rosalie got a gift card for Victoria's Secret. Esme received an elegant necklace and Carlisle received new medical books. They all thanked her again and handed her presents from themselves. "You guys aren't supposed to get me presents," Bella complained but opened the gifts anyways. Bella received a mall gift card, a special-edition copy of _Wuthering Heights_, a very expensive looking handbag, and two plane ticket vouchers. Bella thanked everyone and said her goodbyes. She gave everyone a hug and nodded at me and Tanya and then left with Jacob.

When they left, Esme said that dinner was ready and so we all went to the dining table. The food was mouth watering and there was barely any left when we finished. We all helped clean up and then went to the living room to chat and open up the rest of the gifts. The best gift I received? Being able to see Bella again. Even if she didn't hug me or give me a present and she showed up with Jacob, just seeing her made my day.

_Hello world  
Hope you're listening  
Forgive me if I'm young  
For speaking out of turn  
There's someone I've been missing  
I think that they could be  
The better half of me  
They're in the wrong place trying to make it right  
But I'm tired of justifying  
So I say you'll…_

_Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all I see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
So come home  
Oh_

_I get lost in the beauty  
Of everything I see  
The world ain't as half as bad  
As they paint it to be  
If all the sons  
If all the daughters  
Stopped to take it in  
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin  
It might start now…Yeah  
Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud  
Until then_

_Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all I see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
Ever known  
So come home  
Oh_

_Everything I can't be  
Is everything you should be  
And that's why I need you here  
Everything I can't be  
Is everything you should be  
And that's why I need you here  
So hear this now_

_Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all I see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
Ever known  
So come home  
Come home_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Broken by Lifehouse. BPOV. Please review! Tell me what you think. I want to know where you think this is heading and maybe some suggestions. If you review, I may just let you in on what the next song will be and give you a clue as to what's coming up...  
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I wake up early the next morning to make breakfast for me and Jake. I finally got more than a few hours of sleep but I still feel tired. I made pancakes, eggs, and bacon. As I was setting it all down on the table, Jacob walks out sleepily. "Merry Christmas! Excellent timing, Jake, I just finished," I said, trying to sound cheery.

"Merry Christmas," he replied and pecked me on the lips with a smile. Well… at least he is happy, right? We both sat down and ate quietly. Once we had our full, I took the dishes to the kitchen and washed them. After I was done, I joined Jacob in the living room. We didn't get a tree this year, but we still decorated somewhat with lights and a wreath.

"Do you want to open our presents now?" I asked.

"Sure," he replied with a grin. I smile in return; his happiness is contagious to me. I wouldn't know what to do without him, he's my rock. I went to the closet to get my present for him, a new radio for his car since his was broken, and then I sat back down on the couch while I waited for him to get my present. He came back within seconds and gave me his present, shyly. "It isn't much," he said nervously and I gave him a reassuring smile.

I tore off the wrapping paper and lifted the small box. It was a bracelet with a small wooden wolf dangling from it. It was perfect, it was so Jacob. I smiled at him and pecked him on the lips. "I love it, Jake. Did you make it?" He nodded more confidently and then opened his present. He was ecstatic.

"A new radio for my car?! Thank you, Bells!" He hugged me and gave me a kiss. His joy radiated from him and some of it passed it on to me. He went outside to install the radio and I went to go grab another cup of coffee. I then decided to call up Alice and knowing her, she was most likely up already.

"Merry Christmas, Bella!" she greeted me enthusiastically.

"Merry Christmas to you as well," I replied.

"Are you sure you won't be able to join us for dinner?"

"Alice, I told you that we were going to spend it with my dad."

"I know, I know. I was just hoping that you would change your mind."

"So… did you open up presents, yet?"

"Yes!" I can imagine her jumping up and down. "The best gift ever, Jasper proposed to me last night!"

"Oh my god, Alice, I'm so happy for you! It's about time!" They have been together for forever and I was wondering why they weren't married already. "So how did he propose?" I asked even though I already knew, since I helped Jasper set up.

"Oh my lord, okay! He brought me into this empty store where he set up a romantic candle light dinner for us and then after we ate he got down on one knee, said the sweetest things, and asked me to marry him! The ring is gorgeous! But I was confused as to why brought me into an empty store and it turns out that he bought it for me so I could finally accomplish my dream of having my own boutique!"

"Alice, he is so perfect for you!"

"I know, I'm so excited to plan for the wedding. But first things first, Bella, will you be my maid of honor?"

"Of course I will, Alice!"

"Great, well I got to go, Bella. Merry Christmas!"

"You, too!" I went back into the living room where I found Jacob watching _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ with Jim Carrey.

"The radio is installed, thanks again, sweetheart," Jacob said as I joined him on the couch.

"No problem. Guess what?"

"What?" he replied.

"Alice and Jasper are engaged!"

"Well it's about damn time those two get hitched!"

"That's exactly what I thought!" We spent the next few hours just relaxing in front of the television watching Christmas movies. "I think I'll go shower and get ready now," I said getting up of the couch.

"Alright, I'll go after you," he responded and I nodded and headed to our bedroom. After a nice long shower, I stood in front of my closet contemplating on what to wear. I picked out a cream long sleeve sweater dress, a brown trench coat, and brown leather boots. In the shower, I decided that Jacob and I could stop by the Cullen household to drop off presents and wish them a merry Christmas. I wanted to look good in case Edward was there. So I applied some light make up and I was all set. I went back into the living room to tell Jacob our slight change of plans and then let him get ready.

A half an hour later, we were on our way to see the Cullens. I was nervous to say the least, but excited for the possibility of seeing Edward again. We pulled into the driveway and I immediately spotted Edward's car. _Oh shit! What the hell was I thinking! Oh, shut up! You know you wanted to see him! Sigh. _We walked to the front door carrying the presents and rang the door bell. I took deep, calming breaths as we waited for the door to open. And guess who was on the other side?! Edward _freaking _Cullen! "Hello… I didn't know that we were expecting you for dinner," he said nervously. _Oh my god! He is so fucking gorgeous! Shit! What did I get myself into?_

"Umm… sorry, I actually just came to drop off my presents before we go to my dad's," I replied, blushing. _Damn it! Stupid blush! _

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed. The rest of the Cullen family walked to the door. _Surprise, I thought._

"Merry Christmas, everybody. I'm sorry to intrude, but I just wanted to drop off gifts since I couldn't join you for dinner," I said shyly. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle took the gifts out of our hands and hugged and greeted us a merry Christmas. We went inside to watch them open their gifts. I got everyone a present for everyone except for Edward and his girlfriend.

_His girlfriend is so fucking stunning; super-model material._ She is the epitome of perfection with her sleek, blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, tall figure, and gorgeously long legs. They looked great together. There is no way that I could compete with _that. Hold on there, Bella! This is NO competition. You have no right and you have a freaking boyfriend! _

I smiled at Edward sadly, as his family opened their gifts. I got Alice a bunch of fancy wooden hangers and a new sketchbook for her boutique. Jasper got an old book about the civil war and for Emmett and Rosalie; I got a gift card for Victoria's Secret. Esme opened up her present, an elegant necklace, and I got Carlisle got new medical books. They all thanked me again for their gifts and handed me their own gifts to me. "You guys aren't supposed to get me presents," I complained but opened the gifts anyways. I received a mall gift card, a special-edition copy of Wuthering Heights, a very expensive looking handbag, and two plane ticket vouchers. I thanked everyone and said my goodbyes. I gave everyone a hug and gave a nod at Edward and Tanya. Giving them a hug would be way too awkward even though I wanted to hug him and deck her in the face for being the luckiest bitch in the world.

"Well… that was awkward," Jake commented as we were driving to my dad's place.

"Jake, please… let's not talk about it," I pleaded. He sighed and nodded in agreement. _Sigh._ We got to Charlie's soon enough and we're greeted by Charlie, Sue, and Billy. Dinner was already set on the table so we ate and made some small talk. We talked about the usual—what we were up to, anything new, fishing, and sports.

I was happy for Charlie that he had found Sue. They both had a tough time when Harry, Sue's husband and one of Charlie's closest friends had died, but it brought them together. I always hoped that Charlie would find someone like my mother had found Phil. He deserved it. "Charlie, can I talk to you in private for a second?" Jacob asked after we had finished with our meal. Charlie nodded and they both stepped outside to talk. Billy went into the living room while Sue and I cleared the table.

"So where are Seth and Leah?" I asked Sue, trying to make conversation.

"The kids are up in Seattle for the holiday; too busy to come visit their mother," Sue sighed. She is a very nice lady who loved her kids very much. She and Charlie suited each other perfectly.

"Oh, that's too bad," I replied. It would have been nice to have Seth here; he is a pretty cool guy. Leah, on the other hand, is a cold-hearted bitch to me. I always knew that she had a thing for Jacob, but he acted oblivious to her.

Jacob and Charlie came back inside after their conversation and Charlie had a huge grin on his face while Jacob had a confident smirk on his. _Wonder what that's about?_ "Bells, do you want to go for a little walk?" Jake asked me. I nodded curiously and he took my hand and led me outside. We walked a little ways away from the house but not out of sight when Jake came to a stop.

Jake looked down to gather his thoughts for a few minutes and then looked into my eyes with so much emotion. He took both of my hands in his and began to speak, "Bella, the first time I saw you, I knew you were it for me. I've fallen hopelessly in love with you…" Jacob got down on one knee. _Oh my fucking shit. What the hell is he doing?! What the fuck do you think he is going to do, Bella?! Oh my god! _"Will you marry me, Bells?" _Fuck…_

I could not respond for the life of me; I could hardly think coherently for that matter. I just knew I couldn't say yes to him. But I couldn't exactly say no either and break his heart. My heart is already shattered enough for the two of us. So I did the thing that I do best, I turned away from him and ran. I saw Charlie anxiously looking out the window, but his face fell when he saw me. I grabbed the keys to the car as quickly as I could and took off without a word.

I sped down the freeway not exactly sure of as to where I was going. There were no other cars on the road. Everyone was with their family having fun, laughing, and opening up presents. I was all alone… _on Christmas._ I could barely breathe and my broken heart was aching.

_Why did I bolt? How the fuck could I do that to Jacob? Oh my god, how is he handling this? I don't think I can marry him. No… I don't want to marry him. How am I going to tell him no? Oh god, I need help._

I quickly exited the freeway, turned around, and sped back to Forks. I pulled into the driveway and walked to the front door hurriedly. With a deep breath, I rang the doorbell on the verge of falling apart at any moment. _Hold on, Bella, keep yourself together._

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain is there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you_

_The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead  
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain is there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you_

_I'm hangin' on another day  
Just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm hanging on to the words you say  
You said that I will, I'll be ok_

_The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Ungodly Hour by The Fray. EPOV. Please review and tell me what you think. Reviewers get to know the next song for the next chapter!**_

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We had just finished up opening the rest of the presents which I did not pay any attention to as all my thoughts were on Bella. She looked exceptionally amazing tonight but there was something wrong with the picture, the man by her side—the fucking luckiest son of a bitch in the world, Jacob Black. I can't even begin to describe the level of jealousy, envy, and absolute hatred I felt toward him. But I can't blame him for anything; he didn't do anything wrong. If anyone is to blame, it is me. I broke her heart and I don't deserve her. Period. But how selfish am I to want her so badly and not give a damn about anyone else? Extremely selfish, that's me.

My family was caught up in conversation but I couldn't hear a word they were saying—it was like a buzzing in the background. I know it's wrong of me to ignore them when we don't see each other often but I couldn't help it. Bella will always be number one to me. She is my everything but she isn't mine. How I wish things had turned out differently…

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door bell ringing again. Could it be Bella again? I was about to get up to get the door, but Alice got up and beat me to it so I stayed in my seat on the couch and conversation continued on. Then conversation abruptly stopped as we saw a sobbing Bella and Alice rush up the stairs together.

_What the fuck?_ Why is she crying? If Jacob Black had anything to do with the tears that were flowing down her cheeks he is now considered a dead man. I swear. I suddenly felt the ache in my heart. Her pain was my pain. What ever she felt, I felt. I truly believe that we are soul mates. I wanted so much to know what had happened to Bella and to comfort her like I used to be able to do. To dry her tears and have her share everything with me… to be able to hold her and say soothing words… to kiss her worries away… to make her laugh and make her forget… to be her best friend… to be her lover… to be her everything.

I had to know what was going on so I excused myself and quietly made my way upstairs. I was in luck as the door to Alice's room was left slightly ajar. I walked closer to the door to be able to listen in. I know I shouldn't be eavesdropping but I needed to know.

"Tell me what's wrong, Bella. What happened," Alice pleaded. I could hear Bella still sobbing, the sound literally breaking my heart. _Let it out, Bella, please._

"I don't know what to do, Alice. Tell me what to do! I am so confused…" Bella stuttered out. _Okay… we all are confused. _

"I don't understand, Bella. Start from the beginning," Alice said softly.

"Okay… we were eating dinner at Charlie's and everything was fine. But then after, Charlie and Jake went outside. I know now that he was asking for Charlie's blessing." _Holy fuck! No way! _"Then they came back inside and Jake asked if we could go out for a walk and I agreed. I was curious. Then he said all these things and got down on one knee. That's when it all made sense, but I couldn't think or say anything. He asked me to marry him and I couldn't say anything! How fucked up is that! I bolted, Alice! I fucking left! I didn't know where I was going until I came here. I need you, Alice…" For a few minutes, all I could hear was Bella's crying. The ache in my chest was multiplying. I could hardly breathe.

Then I heard someone come upstairs and thanked god that it was only Emmett. Emmett shook his head at me in disapproval but I put my finger to my lips to signal him to be quiet. He joined me in my eavesdropping with a curious expression on his face.

"Do you want to marry him, Bella?" Alice finally spoke. Emmett and I both frowned at each other. _She can't marry him! But who am I to tell her that? I had no right._

"No, I don't. But at the same time, I can't tell him no either. We've been together for years, Alice, I can't just throw that away…"

"Do you love him, Bella?" _Please say no! Please say no!_

"Yes, I do, but not the way he loves me."

"So not the way you love Edward then?"

"No. The way I feel for Edward I can feel for nobody else. That's just the way it is Alice." My heart was filled with joy at her confession. Of course I felt the same way about her.

"I don't think you should marry Jacob, Bella. All you are going to do is trap yourself in that relationship. That's my advice, Bella. I don't know what else to tell you. Love just doesn't come easy to all of us." _Listen to her, Bella!_

"I'll break his heart, Alice! Mine is already broken, why should I break his, too?"

"I don't know, Bella. I can't tell you what to do; it's all up to you. Just know that I'll be there for you whatever you decide."

"Okay. Thanks, Alice. I'm sorry for ruining your Christmas."

"Don't be sorry, Bella. What are best friends for?"

I decided that now was the best time to intrude so I knocked lightly on the door and then pushed it open. Bella and Alice were sitting on the bed in a tight embrace, but I couldn't see Bella's face. Alice let go, "I'll leave you two alone." I nodded at Alice, thanking her for giving me some time with Bella.

I sat down on the bed where Alice had been just a second ago. Bella's head was down, avoiding my gaze. _Sigh._ I cupped Bella's chin and pulled it up to make her look at me. I looked into her watery, chocolate brown eyes. She was still crying a little and I wiped her tears away with my thumb. "How much did you hear?" she choked out.

"Everything," I answered honestly and gave her a sad smile. She didn't respond and we sat in silence for a few minutes. I stared into her brown orbs that tell me more than her words. I smiled, remembering a long time ago that her mom had told her that she is an open book. I could tell from reading her eyes that she was sad and torn. "Don't…" I said so quietly, breaking the uncomfortable silence and she stared at me confused. "Marry him… don't," I continued.

"Why?" She asked softly and looked down to the floor.

_Why? _I could think of plenty of reasons why she shouldn't marry him, hell, I could probably write a whole book about it. But I'm not sure she wanted to hear it all. _He isn't good enough for you… you know in your heart that you don't want to… you'd be wasting your time on a no good marriage… he wouldn't make you happy… you don't really love him… you really love me… you actually want to be with me… we're made for each other… we are soul mates… I don't want you to… because I love you. _Because I love you. "Because… I…"

She put her fingers to my lips to stop me. I could feel the electricity course through me from her blazing tough. "Please, don't…" she pleaded with me. What? Why? I could feel the pain of her rejection directly in my heart.

"Why?" I whispered. I could feel my eyes fill up with tears that threatened to fall.

"I… I can't do this right now. Sorry," she said and quickly got up and left. I couldn't move, I felt completely and utterly paralyzed. All I could do was to let the tears fall.

_Don't talk, don't say a thing  
__'Cause your eyes, they tell me more than your words  
Don't go, don't leave me now  
'Cause they say the best way out is through_

_And I am short on words  
Knowing what's occurred  
She begins to leave because of me  
Her bag is now much heavier  
I wish that I could carry her  
But this is our ungodly hour_

_I know you're leaving now  
'Cause I held on to my way tightly  
Stay still until you know  
Tomorrow finds the best way out is through_

_And I am short on words  
Knowing what's occurred  
She begins to leave because of me  
Her bag is now much heavier  
I wish that I could carry her  
But this is our ungodly hour  
Ungodly hour, ungodly hour_

_And I am short on words  
Knowing what's occurred  
She begins to leave because of me  
Her bag is now much heavier  
I wish that I could carry her  
But this is our ungodly hour  
Ungodly hour, ungodly hour_

_Her bag is now much heavier  
I wish that I could carry her  
But this is our ungodly hour_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Stay Close, Don't Go by Secondhand Serenade in Jacob POV. I've skewed Jacob a little bit in Bella's perspective to be some insincere, selfish, and unromantic guy, but truth is that he's not, but at the same time, he isn't Edward. Obviously. The Cullens have accepted Jacob but still hold on to the hopes that someday Edward and Bella will get back together. So to get to the point of why I'm saying all of this, I wrote this chapter in Jacob's view to show you that he isn't such a bad guy that most other fanfics make him out to be when they write a Bella, Edward, and Jacob love triangle story.

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_Engagement ring? Check. Proposal speech? Check. Her father's blessing? Check. A yes? No. A no? No. A girlfriend that runs away when you want to make her your fiancé? Big ass check._

I was so wrong—she wasn't ready for this yet. I can't say that it doesn't hurt. It hurts like hell. I had thought that she would be ready to take this next step with me; I mean, we've been together for years. Does she not believe in marriage or does she not believe in marriage with me? Seeing Edward earlier makes me feel that Bella never really got over him. I saw the way they looked at each other. I know that they love each other still, but at the same time, I know that Bella loves me, too. Edward had left her shattered years ago; he lost his chance. I am the one that had put her back together and made her alive again.

I still remember the first day that I saw her at the University of Alaska. She looked so broken, but still so beautiful. I knew that she was the only one for me though she was a couple years older than me. I gathered up all my courage to approach her and talk to her. I became her friend and when she was with me, she smiled sincerely. I took pride in that I could make her truly happy. Gradually, we became more than friends. First it was group dates and then dates with just her and me. The first time we kissed was when I first realized that I was completely in love with her. I confessed my love for her, but she could not say those words back and so I told her that I would wait patiently for her. No pressure. She had told me about her relationship with Edward and that night, I vowed to never hurt her like he did.

Instead, she hurt me. I had thought that tonight was going to be one of the happiest days of my life. It turned out to be the worst day of my entire life. I poured my heart out to her and proposed in the hopes that she would say yes or something along those lines. Her response? Running away. Did I ruin everything we had? Will she not want to be with me anymore? No. I will fight for her, because she is worth it. I had to have hope.

I finally heard her car pull into our driveway. She was home. I took a deep and calming breath before she walked through the door. She walked into the living room and the light from the lamp illuminated her tear-stained face, breaking my heart into. I hated to see her cry. "I'm so sorry, Jacob…"

"Bella, it's okay. It's okay if you're not ready yet. I will wait for you," I said to comfort her as I took her into my arms.

"I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready… I'm sorry… I'm still so broken," she whispered. "I'll understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I don't deserve you."

"Bella, listen to me. I love you so much. As long as I have you, nothing else matters. We'll get past this, just don't leave me, okay?" I stood there in silence, with my arms wrapped around her, clinging to her, awaiting her answer.

"Yes, okay. I don't want to be alone."

"Thank you, baby. I can't live without you; you know that, right? I promise you that everything is going to be alright." I kissed her softly and wiped the tears from her face. "Where did you go?" I asked though I was pretty sure of the answer.

"The Cullen's house. I talked with Alice," she replied, confirming my guess.

"Okay. We should sleep; it's late. Merry Christmas, Bells," I said and kissed her one more time. I may not be the only one for her, but she's the only for me, that I was absolutely sure of.

_I'm staring at the glass in front of me,Is it half empty?  
Have I ruined all you've given me?  
I know I've been selfish,  
I know I've been foolish,  
But look through that and you will see,  
That I'll do better.  
I know, baby I can do better._

_If you leave me tonight,  
I'll wake up alone,  
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.  
Don't leave me tonight,  
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies,  
If you leave me tonight._

_Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping,  
I listen to your breathing,  
Amazed how I somehow managed to,  
Sweep you off of your feet girl,  
Your perfect little feet girl,  
I took for granted what you do,  
But I'll do better.  
I know, baby I can do better._

_If you leave me tonight,  
I'll wake up alone,  
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.  
Don't leave me tonight,  
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies,  
If you leave me tonight._

_And don't you know,  
My heart is pumping,  
Oh, it's putting up the fight.  
And I've got this feeling,  
That everything's alright.  
Don't you see?  
I'm not the only one for you,  
But you're the only one for me._

_If you leave me tonight,  
I'll wake up alone.  
If you leave me tonight,  
I'll wake up alone,  
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.  
Don't leave me tonight,  
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies,  
If you leave me tonight.  
Don't leave me tonight.

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_**Please, please review and let me know what you think of the chapter. This was a short one, but I'll make it up to you next time. Reviewers will be let in on the song for the next chapter.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm so sorry that I've taken this long, but this is a decent size chapter. We're moving in the right direction. Please review and let me know what you think. The music for this chapter is _Moonlight Sonat_a by Beethoven, no words can describe the emotional roller coaster in this chapter. So youtube it or if you have it on your iPod, listen to it!**

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EPOV

I understood that she couldn't hear those three words right now, but they were as true as ever. I loved her then, I love her now, and I'll love her for the rest of eternity. With this revelation, epiphany, or whatever you want to call it, I realized that I needed to break it off with Tanya and fight for Bella. I have wasted away too many years without Bella and I wasn't going to give up any of the time we could still have together. I had made a terrible mistake in breaking up with her and I will regret that for the rest of my life. I had broken both of our hearts with that one decision. I realize that I was scared before—I was scared of losing her, scared of her finding someone else, scared of being away from her so long, scared that the distance would tear us apart, scared that she would break my heart… I was scared of so many things, but I'm not scared anymore. I know exactly what I want now; I want Bella. I want to marry her, have her babies, and spend the rest of our days together. I _needed _her.

Breaking up with Tanya would be difficult, but it was definitely necessary. I felt bad for wasting her time trying to make it work out with me, but better late than never. I was selfish in not ending it earlier—I used her as a distraction, which didn't work out too well anyway. I thought of Bella everyday, every morning that I woke up and every night before I slept. She was always on mind.

Alice came back and saw me sitting on her bed with tear-stained cheeks. She sat down and wrapped her arms around me, "Oh, Edward." She rubbed my back in a comforting manner; she was just like Esme in that sense. "I have a feeling that this will all work out."

"I'm going to fight for her, Alice. I need to try," I confessed to her. Alice is Bella's best friend, and if there was anyone that could help me win Bella's heart again, it was Alice. I also knew that Alice always wished that Bella and I would end up together; she has a really good intuition.

"It's about time, my brother! I'm so happy," Alice squealed the way only she could, "I'm guessing you need my expertise?" She had a knowing smile on her face and I could only smile in return and nod in agreement.

"Yeah, I know I am a complete dumbass…" I agreed, "but how can I get her back?"

"You're not a complete dumbass, just a dumbass when it comes to Bella… but that's where I come in. First step of mission get Bella back is to break it off with Tanya."

"I know. I feel terrible about this whole situation and honestly; I should have ended it with Tanya a long time ago. I hate having to hurt her like this."

"I don't even know what you see in her, Edward, except for her vagina," Alice said while rolling her eyes. What happened to my sweet little sister? I blame Jasper for this; he just had to steal her virginity.

"Do have to be so crude, Alice?"

"It's the truth! What have you gotten out of the relationship, besides sex?" Why did I have to think so hard about this question? She was a nice girl, truly, but sex was all we ever really did together as a couple. Everything else—like going to the mall together or eating together was more in the friend zone.

"I… I… okay! I feel like an asshole now. Thank you very much." I've been such a jerk since I broke up with Bella and this isn't me. Bella had brought out the best in me and ever since we split, I haven't been myself. I hadn't played the piano or picked up a guitar in years when before, I used to play nearly everyday. Bella was without a doubt, my muse… my inspiration for everything I did. I played music for her, I did well in school for her, and I lived and breathed for her.

"You're very welcome, but you make yourself feel like an asshole just fine. All jokes aside, I really do want to help you. First of all, she really doesn't want to break Jake's heart like you broke hers. Secondly, she doesn't believe that you love her anymore and thirdly, she doesn't feel deserving of your love either. On the bright side, she still loves you deeply."

"She has to know that I love her, Alice. I was so close to telling her earlier until she stopped me."

"She knows that you feel that way, but she doesn't actually believe that you truly love her. She thinks that she feels so much for you than you feel for her—she's always been a skeptic. And she's always been insecure, even when the two of you were still together. She couldn't believe that you could possibly find her attractive and have all these feelings about her."

"I always did my best to make her feel beautiful and honestly, I always thought that I wasn't good enough for her. I guess we're alike in a lot of ways."

"Oh god yes, you are both so stubborn. It's ridiculous really."

"Hahaha. Do you think she'd be willing to end it with Jacob to be with me?" I can understand why she doesn't want to break up with Jacob; she doesn't want anyone to feel the pain and hurt that I had caused her. But if she doesn't, then I am the one that will get hurt. It is a risk that I am willing to take—Bella is worth it.

"She will realize, like you did with Tanya, that it is better for everyone to end the relationship and be with you… the one she really loves. I truly believe that I will be planning yours and Bella's wedding in the future, but let's take this one step at a time. End your relationship with Tanya and then we'll deal with Bella. Do it as soon as possible, Edward."

"We'll be over before New Years. I don't want her to begin a new year with a break-up." I wasn't that big of a jerk.

"That's great. I'm so happy that you are finally coming to your senses."

"We should get back to the party. Merry Christmas," I said sarcastically.

"Look at it this way, by next Christmas, you'll be with Bella." Now that was something to look forward to. I know she hates receiving presents, but she'll get used to it eventually. I wanted to shower her with love and gifts and she will want for nothing.

We went down the stairs and back to our family as they stared at us with questioning eyes. My family were worried about Bella and why we were up there for a while and Tanya looked annoyed and upset. I tried to prolong our stay as much as could, not wanting to get into an argument with Tanya. I could tell that she was itching to leave. We eventually said our goodbyes and got back in the car to go home. I knew that Alice would inform my family about the situation.

"What took you so long?" Tanya asked as soon as we hit the road. She sure didn't waste anytime. I won't lie to her… I just won't tell her the whole truth.

"I was consoling Bella, she was having some problems," I answered.

"Why couldn't you leave Alice to handle her, Edward? You left me all alone with your family!" she exclaimed. Does she really have to pick a fight now. It's Christmas for crying out loud.

"Tanya, please. Bella is a really good friend of mine—she's practically family," I replied, wishing she was literally a part of my family as my wife.

"Did you ever date her? You've never mentioned her before."

"Yes, we dated in high school." I was quickly losing my self-control.

"Do you still have feelings for her?" Tanya said and I could hear the jealousy in her voice.

"Enough of the interrogation Tanya. Let's get home first." I didn't want to get into this discussion while driving. I wouldn't be able to focus and if Tanya kept pressing my buttons, I'd lose control.

"Fine!" The rest of the drive was awkward and tense. Tanya was fuming and I could hear the gears turning in her head. I tried to focus on the road to distract myself, but my mind kept wandering to Tanya and Bella. I didn't want to break up with Tanya on Christmas, but if this conversation was headed where I think it was, it is definitely possible that I would explode on her. Too many things had happened today and I just needed to take it all in and just digest for a while.

As soon I put the car in park, Tanya got out and slammed the door shut. Poor baby—my car. She strutted into the house leaving the door open for me to walk in. I took a deep breath and walked in and closed the door quietly. "Well?" she said with attitude, looking at me.

"Tanya, please, it's Christmas. Can we just go to sleep?" I pleaded, trying to get out of this argument, at least just for tonight. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her self down, probably counting backwards from ten.

"If that's what you want, then fine. But you're sleeping on the couch!" I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands. Tanya was definitely not going to let this go tomorrow. For a while, I just sat there thinking of what I was going to say to Tanya—how I was going to break up with her. _Tanya, I think it would be best if we break up. Tanya, I'm so sorry, but I don't think we should continue with our relationship. I'm not the man you want me to be, you deserve someone who loves and cares for you with his whole heart. I do care about you, but I'm not the one for you. I'm so sorry that I've led you on this long and I know that one day you will find the man meant for you._ I didn't think that I was going to break up with her this soon since I had made my decision, but I knew that tomorrow's talk would be the time to end the relationship. I would be completely honest with her. I went into the bedroom quietly and snuck into the bathroom. I got ready to sleep and then grabbed a blanket and pillow and got comfortable on the couch. Tomorrow would be a big day.

I woke up the next morning to hear Tanya in the kitchen making breakfast. I went into the bedroom to shower and get dressed for the day and mentally prepare myself for what was to come. I entered the kitchen and found Tanya quietly eating breakfast already and a plate of food ready for me. I sat down and we ate silently. To say it was tense and awkward would be the understatement of the year. After we finished eating, we put the dishes in the sink. "Let's talk in the living room," I suggested. She nodded minutely and we made our way to the living room. I took a deep breath and sat on the opposite end of the couch and faced Tanya. Her eyes were puffy from crying yet she looked composed—as if she already knew.

"I'm so sorry, Tanya," I said, breaking the silence. I waited for the breakdown, the anger, the anguish, but it did not come. She was calm and collected.

"There isn't anything I can do to make you stay is there?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm still in love with Bella and I always will be."

"Why?! Why do you still love her? Why can't you love me? Why did you do this to me?" With each question, her voice got louder and louder as she lost her composure.

"Bella is my soul mate. I tried to forget about her and I used you in the process, but she never went away. I am so sorry that I led you on and for this long," I said, being completely truthful.

"You bastard! I spent years with you just wasting my time. I loved you!" Tanya stood and took a step towards me. Here was the anger that I expected. I stood up as well, following her lead.

"I'm sorry and I know I've been saying that a lot, but it's true. Someday you will meet someone who will care for you and love you with their whole heart, but I can't be that person for you. I do care about you and I wish the best for you." Tanya wiped away her tears and nodded in acceptance.

"I'm sorry I lost it there for a moment. One day I will be thankful to have had you in my life, but right now, I really don't feel that way. You made me feel special and good about myself so I thank you for that. I hope that everything works out with Bella. I met her just yesterday and I could tell that she is a great person. I could see how different you were with her than you were with me and that's why I was jealous. Your whole family treated her differently and I could tell why—she's meant to be a part of your family," she said, all the while crying.

"You don't have to apologize at all, Tanya. You have every right to be pissed at me and thank you for what you said about Bella. I know it's hard for you right now. Also, you don't need to worry about finding a new apartment, I'm going to look for a place in Forks, but for now I'll stay with my parents."

"I really appreciate that and I wish you the best, Edward," she said with sincerity.

"You, too, Tanya." I was happy that she got the closure that she needed to move on. I packed all my things as quickly as possible, just taking my clothes, books, and other items. Before I knew it, I was out of there and driving back to Forks where my heart belongs. I called the hospital and informed them that I was going to resign and transfer to Forks General Hospital. Then I called my parents to give them a heads up. Today was the end of one relationship and hopefully, the start to another.


End file.
